Friday, November 2, 2012


Today I awoke out of a strange dream. I'll remember it as the dream of "sex games" though there was no sex. Only games of a provocative nature. The residual high of last nights marijuana lingered beneath my skull. A pale hangover left me dry. Outside of my door I could hear my Father moving about in the bathroom. I checked my phone for text messages; none. Bentley, the cat, sat near me on the bed. His white paws were tucked beneath the white patch on his chest, the rest of his black fur lay undisturbed, but only momentarily.It was early, around eight or nine. I didn't want to get up just yet. For a while I rolled around and spoiled myself with a few short dreams. I heard my Fathers feet pound down on the stairs, creaking and squealing with every step. Bentley listened and stayed put.

I think I got up around 12..
Hopped out of bed with my long johns and yesterdays faded red t-shirt and headed downstairs. Pop was in the pink chair watching Adam-12. A spin-off of Dragnet, the other show you've never heard of.  We watched together for a while, Dad made jokes at the T.V., I laughed along. After some time and some talk, Dad retreated to the studio and I made myself some breakfast. Toast with strawberry jelly and an apple. Maybe a cup of water. Upstairs and in bed, I phoned my girlfriend in California. She answered with the usual morning yawn, in a breathy voice, stretched out the word "Hello..." We chatted for a while and eventually played a couple long distance games of "Words with Friends." She won again and again. Chinese Zodiac says the Horse is always a winner, I believe it.


Pretty sure I visited my Dad in the studio for a few minutes. I soon found my way back to the stone house and snatched up the book my Father suggested I read, "The Science of the Mind." I suggest you read it, too.  I picked up where I had left off, sixty-five pages in, at the first page of chapter one. I read outside for a while, my concentration wavered. I felt sleepy, but it was one in the after-noon, and I was sure I had slept enough throughout the previous night. The breeze became to brisk so I gathered myself and the book and made my way inside to to living room, where I read in a soft pink chair. The Sun was greatly bright, but I was still cold, pulling a cozy blue blanket over me, I remedied the situation. The scent of a neat older woman filled the air, it was Lees scent, it must have been her blanket. I read for a little bit, but soon curled into a ball and quickly fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of my Father entering the kitchen from the side porch. I went upstairs for the sake of privacy and slept in my bed for a few hours.Waking up, around five, I felt the familiar pains of past days and a lazy haze holding me. To not further being a piece of shit, I put on some proper clothes and went downstairs. I found a snack, turned on the tele, and furthered being a piece of shit.

My Father and I watched TV for a little bit, he explained that we weren't going out for groceries today, but felt that I and the animals had enough to survive by ourselves for the night. I agreed and we carried about. He soon went upstairs to get dressed. Jeopardy came on and I wanted to watched. Keith, the six-time winner, was on for a seventh night and I wanted to see him win. Half an hour later, he lost terribly by his own very poor wager. And to think, he could have won if he were a lot less greedy, and little bit smarter. Dad was already gone at this point. I had the farm to myself. I went upstairs to get my notebook. I thought that a little writing would do the soul good. It wasn't enough to write though. I decided the day would prove more successful if I were naked. I took off all of my clothes and tossed them on the couch. I stood naked in the living room and thought to myself for a moment. I sat on the floor and stroked the page of the notebook with a pen only but a few times when the phone rang. It was Thea. She was off of work and hungry for something unknown. We talked and I carried myself from the living room to my bedroom. At six thirty, I excused myself in order to feed the dogs. I turned on the hot water, found the tin can in the fridge, filled a plastic cup with the warm water, grabbed a fork, and found the dogs. They were anxiously waiting on the side porch, Gutters more anxious than Pilgrim, which was surprising.. Two cups of dry food, one cup for each dog, poured into one silver and one blue bowl. Half a can of Alpo, a quarter for each dog, dug out and plopped into the middle of either bowl. Gutters squealed and grumbled a bit. I made sizzling sounds as I poured in the warm water, Pilgrims favorite part. Pilgrim stamped his feet and pushed closer. Stirring the brown savory mixture together, examining both dogs, I emphasized a few goofy sounds for the pups. Put the food on the floor and each dog had his day. I made my dinner, microwaved last nights left over rotinni carbonara and meat ball. The news on the TV reminded me of the watery chaos in the East. "I want to help." And I still do.
On the computer upstairs, I found some volunteer programs to sign up for. I found a few good ones, but nothing that matched the specifications I sought out. I'm hoping that soon, the right opportunity to volunteer to help with come to me and I to it.

Back on the phone with Thea, she disabled me in a couple games of Words. Horses... I signed on to Youtube for some entertainment and found myself watching videos of Jim Rohn. During which, Thea and I were on the phone. We stayed on the line together for a couple hours, before I excused myself for a snack. I went downstairs, finally put some proper clothes on, and took Gutters over to the studio to retrieve a smoky snack. Acquired. And back to the house. I made some cheesy toast with a tomato and alfredo dipping sauce. That some wine and the chocolate and caramel turtles and I was set. Returned upstairs, called Thea, she did not answer. More Jim Rohn, more inspiration, this time I'll take notes. Found my sketchbook, found the computer, pressed play, watched Jim. A text. Thea. Shes at Starbucks. More Jim. Another text. She loves me lots. I respond. More Jim, more notes. More smoke. More wine. Less calm. More calm. More listening. A text. Katherine. No response. More Jim. A text. Thea. Hows my snack? I respond. Another text from Katherine. No response. Now, blog... New age and classical music. My evening has taken a dramatic turn. But only in the sense of notes, somewhere we must resolve. 

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