Sunday, October 28, 2012

Longly

Words are powerful, often too powerful, but they are only words. Lately, when I think of words, I think of everything that man has attempted to shape after himself. When I think of man shaping and creating objects and things after himself, I think of God creating man in His image. Now, God is only a word, but the idea which the word "God" represents is much greater than any word could summit. Summit isn't the "right" word, but it will suffice. A summit, being the highest peak, couldn't begin to describe God anyway. God is beyond the summit, tramontane. God is also nearer than most choose to comprehend. I choose to believe that God is in all of us, works through all of us, is all of us. God created many men, these many men wrote about the one God and created the Gods. They've painted His face gold, white, black, yellow, brown, orange, green, and blue. It's fair to say that God is every color, too. It's fair to say that what a man lacks, his God lacks, but what a man is willing to gain, his God always reveals that which was hidden behind the illusion of lack. We already have what we need. Everything is obtainable through understanding, or at least, the abstraction of the idea which the word "understanding" describes. These are basic principles, the laws of man in his primitive state; alive. Once understanding is expanded, possibilities are unlimited, as long as you understand the idea of unlimited possibilities. This is thinking without limitations. This is the mind doing what it's supposed to do. The mind is. The body is. The spirit is. Together, we are.

Anyway, I had a bad dream last night. Well, a dream. It's wasn't bad. It was unusually honest and clear. At the same time extremely improbable, at least on some topics. A sinking feeling is left in my chest. Like sinking into a blue sadness, pale clouds to shroud my eyes from everything around me, and a gentle breeze. I'm different... it's now more and more apparent. I'm not like the everyday Joe. I'm a feeling, sensing, perceptive, introverted person. My understanding of this is growing. My concentration is steadily becoming stronger, thus I must be more cautious with my thoughts. Being more present, producing Alpha waves, working on that inner narrative, all beneficial to my being. Benefits are the spice of life. I am receiving all of this, and I am grateful, however I understand that this time and every time is a time to give. I must give more. There is a cycle to life, input and output. It's basic calculus, which I have no understanding of.

I feel defeated by a dream.
What a weapon honesty wields, so long a God is our shield, we shall remain protected.

Defeat is a poor choice of word. I feel exhausted! My mind ran a marathon of emotions. I am full of doubts, worry, anxiety, and fear. My understanding of this allows me accept this reality, and to reshape this into something beneficial. I benefit from understanding. I grow from the inside out.

Speaking of growing...

While tending to the soil 'neath Christy's watch
I began to think about my mind
the weeds had grown from seed in soil
she employed me here to reap the toil

The Earth was wet, and cold, and thick
my hands were slow, and Christy's quick
The spade was dull, old, and worn
A show of strength, the ground was torn

Cursing at me with a Mothers eyes
her gray hair wrapped in rubber ties
she wore a hat to shield the Sun
and spoke to me, her wayward son

In loudened speak, called me a colt
who's legs were weak and spirit broke
Praised me for a few improvements
then cracked sharp whips out from her two lips

I thought that day about my mind
the treasures sought, though longly blind
are just in reach, and to extend the hand
expands the soul, the mind, and the man

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