Saturday, January 14, 2012

I care not to be too obvious
for that I always am
even now.
Even on "frayed edge" that
John Fucking Hollander warned me about
I'm still obvious.
Did you know I stole you're book, John?
I bet you did not. This isn't about you, anyway.
It's about being totally obvious. To the point -
something I am often not -
even now - evasive.

This is a love letter to lovers. This is a song of sweet solemn to those that have hearts far beyond vast canyons. A homage to the braves of marriage - matrimony's white doves (in love).
This is for the long haired, forever-changing-colors girl. The pierced cheek - silver tongued beast - of beautiful merit and honesty. I became you for a while and now you me. So, you must be blind. As I was and remain. I'm boasting you to the highest praise. For you, there shall be no other praise worthy. High up on some great steep I will shout down for you, toward you.
Will you ever hear me?

So to evade is to wash away what I really want to say. Growing in me are many personalities - all disillusioned and honest liars. They speak for you, they speak for me.*
One of these souls reads you in black forms. Exciting your words into inspiration, for that, you truly must be. Every sentence in your poems, though simple, extends complexities beyond the reach of any man. That it is true, the woman in you. She's a loving soul. A spirit worth no dollar, but of a million verses of gold. I'm mean to you, because somehow I love you. I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of myself. I'm afraid that my sensitivity has gotten in the way. That I'm becoming less-than a man. And I'm afraid it is true. Though, I am in love with you. This is not weakness, my nerves grow stronger day by day and in Gods name I pray for you, love. Majestic lady, hear me not as a weak man, but as a man than had been weakened and grew mighty out of gloom - though, different.

I tell you to stay away because it is honest. I tell you to stay away because it's fair. I tell you to stay away because I am unaware of your exact intentions, but I know you. I know what you want. I can't succeed in this. I have my own fight to carry out. I wont be caught in what ifs. I wont strive toward anything. I will only be in love and out of sight, thus out of mind.

I want to tell you the truth, but I'm so scared. And Proud of that fact. So what.

*My usage of commas has become absurd.

No comments:

Post a Comment