Ok you've proved your love
I get it, you want me
Every phone call, every text message
You're torturing us both

Do you really want me to be your man?
I can be a tireless effort
But I can't tell if you actually understand
Or if you are just as selfish as me

You can kiss me, we can fuck
Perhaps somewhere in there make love
It's my head that isn't there
Nor here or anywhere

I get it, you're feeling guilt
You swallowed before you could taste it
Now there's a lump stuck in your throat
Choke it down with haste

For a while I felt guilt
It lingered in every blink
My legs were set to run far away
But I waited in disbelief

Click

It's midnight in my bedroom
I've got the stereo on
It seems everyone is asleep
All except lonely me

I can't escape the envy
It's the old biting jealousy
How can I not compare myself?
If i could only look away

Often I think I'm better
than every man around
More common I find myself worse
Unstable, unsound

What will be of all this effort?
All this time behind a screen
Mirrors of mirrors, rows and rows
The more I click the less I know

I've scribbled out expectations all over this place

with woes and foes and troubles twisting my face

Everything I see is doubled, tripled, or bent

I make a little money, but my job keeps me spent

I've had a few lovers, some of my best memories

But when I open up to my friends it's all complaining

What happens next? I wish I had a summary

Or at least a place to stay cool 'neath this summer heat

Made a few new friends, inherited a family

People that I love to see and cherish inherently 

One whispered my name and passed a note to me

It was an invitation for a lunch meet and greet

Still, I was troubled because the girl I'd been seeing

Was conjuring strong feelings, but my feelings were fleeing

We were a match made on Tinder with a solid first date

And though she was lovely, I still loved my last mate

Whom happened to call me one day at the lake.

She told me she was ready to put it all away

Her  counselor said this, and her counselor said that

I told her that I missed her and wanted her back

She agreed it was worth it, we'd give it another try

But I now I think she's with some other guy

I try to stay cool when females get me tripping

So my pipe remains lit, my paint steadily dripping

Cerulean Dream / The Name of a Poet

I was her passenger

on a dark blue freeway.

"I want your last name."

"Really? ...but, why?"

"Because it sounds better. It's cool.

It would just look good on my work."

"On you're writing, you mean?"

"Yea! I could carry on the name.

Whenever I publish something

your name will be there, too.

You know?"

I was baffled by her proposal, but

more so of her ambiguous enthusiasm,

the seriousness of her tone,

the earnest of desire.

As she steered the old Corolla

around muted blue bends,

a dusty sky churned behind

ashy blue mountains.

I glanced over at her.

She had that subtle smirk of hers,

a purple tank top,

her skin softly aglow.

All around was a cerulean shade

save for the flicker

of indicative red lights

"I guess I just don't understand.

You only want my name?"

Pressing on the pedal

she bent her smile

and quietly 

burned down the Caldecott 

Fossils

She's still a mystery

  And on those rare occurrences

when fate guides our crossing paths

I fall silent in her eyes

and a thousand winds wrestle my spine

perhaps it is the peak of mountainous love

piercing upwards through the fog

or simply a strong nervous laugh

who got lost along the way

I admire her bravery

In living life and in love

images of her kiss

are imprinted in my thoughts

much like fossils

of our prehistoric love

On Becoming A Man

I have a need to be a man.

A tacit yearning to conquer the self

I have a need to be clean

in my body, in my spirit, in my mind.

I have a need to love the way I want to be loved

so that I wont feel alone

and that I may become whole

through the vitality of love.

Through a series of enlightenment

I now see much more clearly
that every strength, every weakness observed

is an observation on me. 

Every critical remark or thought

aimed in any one direction

reflects back directly on me. 

So I ask for forgiveness 

I ask for permission
that I may always be in motion

always moving towards brighter days

alive with brighter thoughts 

and emboldened with broader
considerations.

Dickery

Hickory Dickory Dock

Last night a man got shot

Over a gold chain

The shooter had no brain in his membrane 

or respect for life

A man was ended last night

Hickory dickory dock

Dickery Dickery Dare

He had his hands in the air

wave a gun like you just don't care

A puncture through the heart

to accessorize the clothes he wears

We live in the same city but we can't share

Dickery Dickery Dare

Hippity Hoppity Ho

Blood spurts with just one blow

Blood stains on the girl just he met

Staring up at her facing his death

her number in his wallet dripping red and wet

Hippity Hoppity Ho

Chickory Cherokee Woo

Guess what their teaching in school

how to sing nursery rhymes at three

Instead of who these kids could really be

Have them write their name in cursive one hundred times

over the murder docket sentencing them to two hundred lifes 

These children are bleeding out in the street to nursery rhymes

Chickory Cherokee Woo

Hickory Dickery just won't do.

Wet Crimes

He floats his boat on criminal waters

Bragging incessantly about his endeavors. 

His craft is an intrusive spin on identity
and what it means to create and augment said identity.

His craft is a gateway to a dark, wet culture,
vibrant with misfits, street kids, vandals, and brilliance.

If life is guided by lines, he lives bounded to jagged contours,
shapeless shapes, and wild appendages frolicking across flat planes,
adding depth to dimension.

He has peers.
Faceless figures known only by colorful pseudonyms,
each as street worthy and damage hungry as the next. 

They travel in packs or all alone. 

They have a code, that you never pay for supplies.
That you do not support the system that you are debilitating.

That stealing is necessary.

That not stealing is a not a crime.

MB vs BC

What a cheeky bugger 

 I am not paying any attention whatsoever

it's Friday so who cares

and, in searching for that

I found the weirdest picture

 I think I've ever seen

 forward it

looks like it

maybe, kinda looks like it

yeah

(answered my own question)

he looks like a regular dude

on the beach

 the vinyl costs 30 lbs

that's heavy

It might change your mind

 It changed mine

but then again

 there has never been a good host

Kiss on the mouth, grab of the boob

 I religiously watch that show

because of him

but if you don't like him, you don't like him

though, he's a great host 

I almost feel like this is a practical joke

Prank on a Frank Day

Gag on a Fag

taken two ways

Con on a Jon

hurry the fuck up

 say that

I dare you

double dare in fact

but, I was on mute

you sure?

Guess again!

you heard, you read me

that's my line

I invented it

I had coffee again

can you  tell?

some would say it's a miracle

I'm getting it, alright....

 I bought some things I couldn't pass up this week

necessities/unnecessaries

the one with a fist on one side

 who could forget Big Gay Chris

he took us to his favorite sex shop

partly out of amusement

and partly out of amusement

it was like an elbow

the way it goes into the girl

That sounds painful...

I can't not tell anyone ever

it must be shared

this guy did the impossible

I took a melatonin last night

I keep a bottle by my bedside

thought I'd give it a go

it's the kind of thing you take it just every once in a while, 

it's probably ok

but when you take it every night

 its coming from somewhere else

stupid brain

oh my God

my dreams were intensely vivid

with no end in sight

i know

I would like you to tell me the very first thing that comes to mind

i haven't gotten the picture yet

well

 accidentally 

keep guessing

 the obvious function

is not it's purpose

like lifting weights with her lips

 popular as a bedroom toy

where is the moving part

to keep your mouth open

 I'm guessing

it has resistance

so she is supposed to bite

but come on

perfect way to end a skit

a three minute conversation about nothing

end

so I'm off the phone

copy if you can

I don't know, that's probably illegal

HIGHLY illegal

 it's above the law

 I'll give you three

above the Law...

yes, please

my new favorite number

not Friday anymore

the perfect day

That's the winner

what I would do for one of those

Would you kill a man?

depends on the man

he's probably cool

I mean

that could be me

two heads, hands up

+_+

Who you are = Who you want to be

In our current state, 

we are who we have become through choice, 

consequence, determination, and desire, 

be it onset or offset. 

In this regard we are always who we want to be. 

Therefore it is important to compare yourself only to yourself. 

Who was yesterday? 

Who am I today? 

Who am I tomorrow? 

Mr. Young

You're a hard hearted little boy

with a harsh and critical attitude

You whip your little yellow tongue

snapping out small, subtle insults

and poison the air

You'd like to think we're not similar

but, brother we are.

Though a canyon separates our cultures

we are bound by nature,

mother fucker.

Frankly, I don't like you much

and that's what I like about you

That you could care less and never more

keeping your nose up

while you look down

You dress as sharply as you speak

and sometimes just as colorfully

But I hear you mostly talk about

"Weak shit" and "rude shit"

and that is you

I heard you bragging about yourself

how you stay away from outer influence

yet you criticize how your brothers live

and offer your best advice

behind their backs (hypocrite)

I appreciate your existence

the gift of lessons you bring

that I was sort-of once like you

except taller, bigger,

and grateful of most things