Quiet Nights (What Am I Doing With MY LIfe)

Vanity. Everything is vanity. My soul is crippled with vanity, but much like Maya Angelou, I rise. I rise out of mud and clay, kicking off the excess, flinging the muck down, back to where it reveled. And above, reveals itself to me, but of course, vanity.

I woke up thrice today. Once at 6am, again at 8:30am, and again at 9pm. 

So.. where am I going with this. 

Centering. I am at the center of my universe. I AM the center of my universe. I am in the middle of everything. And everything is around me. Literally, figuratively, rhetorically, and dramatically. I am in the middle. Always. Not one or three... Not black or white... Not happy or sad...

Knots...

Centering. I see success all around me. I measure success (figuratively) in different ways. Different successes require different measurements. A lot like finding a pair of jeans that caters uniformly to your fleshy uniform. If it fits, success! If not, buy them anyway, after all they're on sale, and the idea of going to another store leaves a growing lethargy deep in your bones. That, too is a success. 

Enough about jeans, more about success. I am surrounded by success. By successful people. By ladies and gentlemen who have made smart decisions, who have taken care of their responsibilities, who have listened to the inner voice, to the greater voice, who have paved their own way. 

My new route home, the long walk in the lower Oakland Hills, helps me to think much about how to obtain what I desire. I am aware of how inner desires can be clouded, however, I think it that desire IS the cloud and that, it's OK to not want anything. However, I also think that it is perfectly OK to want something. It's like science. We were fine before science, we're fine with science.  Before sciecne, we (humans) had certain characteristics that many people in the modern society would find unfavorable. But, life was life, things were cool, so long as you didn't get sick, or have...

Ok it's nothing like science. But it is also everything like science... it requires more thought than I am willing to commit to in this area. My focus is elsewhere. Perhaps I'll provide a deeper analysis in a later blog.