Monday, April 16, 2012

I woke up with much on my mind today. It's been a wild week..
I worked really hard that week. Monday through Friday, I busted my back for the company, for the stockroom, and for my peers. Wednesday was the hardest day, but the most remarkable one. The team was working together the way a team should. All of us, spritely young men, tall and short, thin and fat, young and old, straight and gay. We came together to tackle the impossible offsite - a large gray room made of concrete, a quite place in the mall, filled to the brim with boxes. We would have to walk on boxes in order to get to other boxes and they would be buried beneath other boxes. We worked hard that day. The offsite was not the enemy, but the friend in need of care. We would provide the provisions necessary to get him back up to speed. We worked hard that day and even the magical organizing wizard, Andrew, could not complete the task. He was dumbfounded and, I think, a bit hurt. His prize, his power, of organizing had failed him! "At last!" I thought. "He knows what it feels like to be... us!!" It was a relief to see him struggle. I knew then that he was human and not machine. The rest of the week was easy. My legs were sore, my back was weak, but I felt strong. Everything washed away from me on Friday. I was done... too tired to continue. I did the best I could and went home. I knew that the weekend would bring me back up to speed. Matt, Brendan, Caryn, and I were to go to Muir Woods and take in the green -  a much needed escape from the gray and mundane. And it was so. Saturday we came together and started out to the woods. Drove for about two hours and fought for parking. We ate sandwiches and chips before setting out on our hike. The redwoods were proud and reached higher than the arms of any man. We marveled at them for a while. Many people of different cultures marveled along with us. We must have hiked for three hours.. It was much later when I got the message. "..Chris said you took his shift today and we're just wondering where you are.." "What?" I thought. "I didn't take a shift today.." As the wheels spun faster I dove deeper into my recollection. I did take the shift. I was supposed to be there. I was being cocky. I have been forgetful. Sunday rolled by and Monday came second. At work all seemed normal. I apologized for my absence and carried on with my days work. It wasn't until the end of the day, fifteen minutes until my sift ended, did they call me into the office to discuss my punishment - suspension until further notice. In other, more blatant words, "you're ass is grass, kid." Chills started in me, but I fought them off. Without a word I went for my locker, packed my belongings, said a few goodbyes, and took my leave. I needed change for the bus.. I went to buy a cookie and upon receiving my change, left the mall without my baked treat. My mind was elsewhere... "You fucked up, kid..."
Tuesday I did yoga and met up with the step brothers. We ate food, drank beer, and mingled with Japanese girls. Wednesday Crystal came over and we recorded some music, later on the step brothers and the Japanese girls came over for more beer and good times. Yinka and the Japanese girls stayed the night. The next morning we made breakfast and watched Avatar. I don't even remember the rest of Thursday.. On Friday, Yinka was still at my place and Matt came over later. We hung around my place for a while before going to Matts apartment in Walnut Creek. There, we met up with Marisa, had many beers, and retired at Matts for the night. The next day we went for sandwiches at Maruchi's, played Halo and basketball, ate some funny chocolate, and Yinka and I decided to leave. Back at my place, the chocolate had taken full effect over Yinka and he became many words and colors, spewing out anything and everything that came to mind. He was a dark typhoon of imagination. Sunday morning, we got up early to go to the Laotian temple where we were fed delicious vegetarian food and invited to basketball games and movies. After temple, Yinka and I went to Yinkas house to trim the grass. The thicket had grown tall and heavy and much work was before us. We worked hard and calm, a furious weed whacker shaped the wild growth. We worked until sundown and retired to chimichangas and the BET gospel ceremony. There Tuan met up with us and we left for Foodmaxx. At Foodmaxx we purchased meat, cheese, chips, and beer then set off to my apartment. My Mother was home and was excited to see us. We ate, drank, and smoked together. Yinka and my Mother began to battle over opinions and a long dormant argument soon came to life. Both of them arguing like children finally fell into an awkward silence. The air was cut by Iron Man 2. The night ended, the boys went home, and I listened to my Mother for a while in the living room. A fell into a deep sleep.. Today I woke up in my bed with a lot on my mind. It's Monday, two weeks since the bad news and I'm swimming in this pool... "What's next?" I ask myself. "Whatever you make it." Is my quick response. It's time. Time to grow up. To be a man. To reconnect with some sense of responsibility. I'll always be a boy, but I have to fashion myself as a man. The air is thick today... 

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