Tuesday, February 28, 2012


We were getting ready to play a show. I stumbled over the cables on the floor looking for my effects pedals. My long-haired band mate handed me one of my pedals and another cable. I was surprised that he had brought this equipment with him along with some other effects resting in a back pack alongside the bass guitar and guitar stand. We were in a big acoustic building, something like a mall. Our bearded band mate laughed at something. His hair tied back and his outfit black, he wore a blue t-shirt underneath. We prepared ourselves for noise.

The bastard I once called a friend was sitting next to me. Foul air breathed through me as he laughed. I sat in the chair next to him mapping out the cracks in his face. He talked as if we had never stopped talking. "How can you be so naive?" I thought. He talked on and on about himself and the incredible life he's been living. I half-listened through one ear. As my head straightened and my vision narrowed a familiar form entered the room. Long dark hair draped against a yellow tank top and grey sweat pants. A female from my past swayed into my sight. She was careless and seductive. She came to me in this dream as she has in many, but this time her face was different. She spoke, but I heard not words. Transfixed by her beauty I watched her flutter around the living room. The bastard still smiling, his eyes fixed on her, invading my sight just as he had invaded my mind in the past. 

And somehow we were alone, the girl and I. Soft words were exchanged. Nothing was familiar about her face except her cheeks and her smile. "How could this be possible? Why have you changed?" Many questions ran through my mind, but no answers would occur. A mild heat rose between us. We were familiar on the floor. I had fallen to seduction as she crawled on top of me. We reminisced of the love we made many times before. I had her now on her back and I atop of her. She looked at me with that unfamiliar face and that haunting smile. She even turned her head to the left and looked away from with the same sadness to which I had become so keen. I wanted her. I wanted nothing more than to dive into her and to change the dream into the reality of shared nudity, but we remained clothed and flirtatious. She whispered, I challenged, the cards were put into place, but we would not embrace. It was now becoming more familiar to me and pressed against her warm flesh I sank into a deep sadness. The bastard returned and we separated. Guilt and justification hot in my blood. A wave of confusion swept over me and I returned to a blank space. 

Somehow, now in the bright acoustic building where once I might have played a small concert with my band mates I found myself in an arcade with a few friends. We exchanged paper dollars for coins and had at the machines. I shared my ten dollars in quarters with my short haired friend. He played some fighting game whilst the others played games of their own on either side of him. I disappeared to a separate part of the arcade and entered quarters for two players. "...get over here! The game is starting!" I shouted to my short haired friend. "Alright one sec. I'm still playing." was his response. The tiny clock was counting each second that we hesitated. Time ran short and I was hastened to play both defender and offender. My short haired friend too tied up in his own game to play mine. Disappointed, I walked away from my machine. Whether I finished or not, I can't remember. But, I didn't want to play by myself. What did I care anyway? It was only a few quarters. My wallet housed more paper money and I could use that to buy cheeseburgers later on. I watched the others play their games and I disappeared once again into a blank space. 

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