Thursday, July 9, 2009

No big deal

I got exactly what I wanted. I asked for it and I received it. I told
everyone about what I wanted; what I needed. Now its here. I don't hate
it. I don't like it but, its here. Just like I said, its here. Am I
going to stick with it? Or am I going to just blow it all away? Should I
stay here? 9am to 6pm everyday. The same walls. The same people. Nothing
at all. Yea its money... but what do I care... I wish it didn't matter
but, it does. Remember, you are in debt. Remember, you need to pay
everyone back. Remeber not to waste your time. Remeber not to waste
California has brought me a lot of heartbreak and I think I'm losing it.
I'm feeling paranoid, as if my friends are keeping something more from
me. As if its all going on behind my back. Its just little stuff I
suppose but, still I've been on end ever since I heard about Davis. The
guys still haven't mentioned a word of it to me. Still act like it
didn't happen. Still act like what I don't know won't hurt me. But I do
know. And I've known for sometime. And frankly I'm deeply offended.
However, I'll be a big boy about this one. There is no reason to waste
anyones breath over this. But hopefully one day my friends won't be so
insensitive. And hopefully one day I won't be either.

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